Part of the 21‑Day Alcohol Fast Series • Previous Day • Next Day
Transcript & Journal Prompts
Welcome to Day 15 of our fast. Today, we’re talking about something that’s absolutely crucial for long-term success in both our alcohol-free journey and our walk with God: how to handle setbacks.
If you’ve experienced a setback during these past two weeks, I want you to know you’re not alone. Maybe you had a glass of wine after a particularly stressful day, or maybe you’ve been struggling to maintain your daily prayer time. Whatever your experience, today’s message is especially for you.
Galatians 6:9 tells us, ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.’ Notice it doesn’t say ‘if we never stumble.’ It says ‘if we do not give up.’
For thirty years, I tried to moderate my drinking. I can’t tell you how many ‘Day 1s’ I had. I’d make rules about only drinking on weekends, or only having two glasses, or only drinking wine. Each time I broke these rules, the shame grew bigger. Each failed attempt made me feel more out of control, more frustrated with myself.
This pattern mirrored my relationship with God during those years. I’d try coming back to Him, doing all the ‘right’ things – daily devotionals, prayer time, church attendance. But when anxiety hit hard or life felt overwhelming, I’d fall back into my old patterns of reaching for a drink instead of reaching for God. Each time I failed, I felt more unworthy, more disconnected from Him. I felt like such a hypocrite.
Here’s what’s fascinating from a scientific perspective: this pattern is completely normal in habit change. Research shows that successful, lasting behavior change typically requires multiple attempts. We’ve talked a lot about neural pathways throughout this fast, and each time we try to change our habit, our brain forms new neural pathways. Even our ‘failed’ attempts are strengthening these pathways, making it easier to choose differently next time.
I recently read something in Demi Leigh Tebow’s book ‘A Crown that Lasts’ that perfectly captures what we’re talking about today. She explains that every step back is actually a setup for a step up. What really struck me was her insight that a comeback isn’t a one-time event – it’s the choice to come back again and again that truly displays character and faith.
This mirrors my own experience perfectly. You see, God never kept count of my failed attempts. Every single time I tried to come back to Him was precious in His sight. Every time I failed and tried again brought joy to His heart – not because of the failure, but because His daughter was still trying.
Demi Leigh offers three practical steps for creating a mindset that helps overcome fear and doubt, and these align beautifully with both our faith journey and the science of habit change:
- First, we need to reframe our identity. Our beliefs about ourselves – whether as someone who ‘needs’ alcohol to relax, or as someone who’s ‘failed too many times’ to come back to God – these beliefs make up our identity and influence our mindset. During this fast, we’re actively rewiring these beliefs, creating a new identity as a daughter of God who finds her strength and comfort in Him.
- Second, we must let go so we can move forward. This means releasing not just the alcohol, but also the shame, the guilt, and the old stories we’ve told ourselves. Think about Peter, who had to let go of his denial of Jesus, or David, who had to release his guilt to move forward in his relationship with God. Only by letting go can we truly accomplish our goals.
- Third, and most importantly, we must trust that God’s got this. This means replacing our fear and doubt – our ‘what ifs’ about life without alcohol, our worries about failing again – with faith that God has a perfect plan for our lives.
As I have said before, this journey isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. It’s about continuing to turn back to God, again and again, until one day we realize that He’s become our first response instead of our last resort. It’s about learning to trust that His comfort is better than anything a bottle can provide.
So when you experience a setback – notice I say when, not if – here’s what to do:
- Respond with self-compassion instead of shame
- Examine what led to the setback and what you can learn from it
- Turn immediately back to God in prayer
- Reach out to your support system
- Remember that this moment doesn’t define your journey
You are not starting over – you are starting from experience. Every attempt, every try, every time you choose to get back up – it matters. God is not disappointed in your journey. He’s not counting your failures. He’s celebrating every moment you choose Him, every time you turn to Him in prayer instead of pouring a drink.
You are His beloved daughter, and He is so proud of you for choosing this path of authentic healing – no matter how many attempts it takes. Don’t give up. Keep going. Your harvest is coming.Once I truly understood God’s call to come back to Him, my life transformed. I am hopeful that this understanding will transform your life as well.
Take some time now to reflect on today’s journal prompts. Let’s turn these setbacks into setups for your greatest comeback yet.I’ll see you tomorrow for Day 16.
📝 Today’s Journal Prompts:
(Allow 15-20 minutes for this exercise. Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Begin with a few deep breaths to center yourself.)
Reflecting on past setbacks, what do you notice about the thoughts, emotions, and circumstances that typically precede them? How can this awareness help you build a better response plan?
Using Demi Leigh Tebow’s three steps for creating a powerful mindset around setbacks, write about:
- What beliefs about yourself and alcohol need reframing?
- What specifically do you need to let go of to move forward?
- What would truly trusting God with this journey look like for you?
Write a letter of compassion to yourself from God’s perspective about your journey so far. What would He say about your attempts, your struggles, and your desire to change?
🙏 Closing prayer:
“Loving Father, thank You for being the God of infinite chances and for mercies that are new every morning. We confess that sometimes we let setbacks convince us to give up, believing lies about our worth and ability to change. Today, we choose instead to see our setbacks through Your eyes – not as failures, but as opportunities to learn and lean more deeply into Your grace. Help us release our shame and perfectionism as we trust that You are creating something beautiful through this journey. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
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